Wednesday, December 22, 2010

pregnancy books from another universe

First off, love all your stories.  So good to know you guys also do silly things, not just me.
Secondly, here's BabyH, looking handsome.

I am busy trying to find some pregnancy books that apply to my situation.  I find most of them completely useless.  First, the introduction, to the nine months of your life during which you will see yourself flowering and blooming.  Nobody is mentioning freaking out every other day or so.  Then, the statement that "you will never again be alone in the world, you are part of someone and they are part of you forever"-do any of these writers know how enormously alone you feel when you lose a baby?  And do I really want to read this now, when I know that it might happen again, do I want to remember that I might be on my way to feeling again even more alone than before, even more empty?

The rest of my grievances have to do with the lack of applicability that most advice books have to my life, for example:
a.  sex in pregnancy - I wish.  It's gonna be a long, long time, so brace yourself, MrH.
b.  exercise in pregnancy - unless they have some sort of bedrest workout, I doubt I will be able to use it.
c.  preparing the nursery - do I look insane to you?  so I can have to disassemble it if I lose the baby again? learned that lesson once:  no baby clothes, no baby gifts, no baby anything until actual live baby present.

On the other hand, I crave to know what normal pregnancy feels like, so I am trying to learn that feeling from these books.  I want experience that innocent hope that everything will go well , because I forgot, or maybe I never had it to begin with.  I also really want to know if it is ok to dye my hair, because my roots are going to show in the next month or so.  Does anybody here in cyberspace have any advice about hair dye?


  1. I'm right there with u on the pregnancy books! Let me know if u find any that apply to us!

  2. Sending prayers your way for as healthy and as uneventful nine months as possible! I waited until after the first trimester to do anything with my hair and then I just did foil highlites and lowlites, so nothing actually touched the scalp. Didn't always cover the grey's but masked them for a while :)

    Happy ICLW!

  3. My ob said no hair dye in the first trimester, and she's the laidback sort who usually doesn't say no to stuff, so I probably wouldn't.

    I'm not even bothering to read pregnancy books this time. I figure I'll just add my questions to my list as they come up, since I'm having a c-section and have already done that, I don't really need to know about delivery, so not even bothering works out for me.

    Regarding buying stuff, you may change your mind as things progress, and you may not. I know people who have went both ways on it and whatever works for you is fine. For me, I decided I don't want to NOT have things for this baby. It's definitely very bittersweet looking at baby stuff again when your first baby died, but I don't really believe in jinxing it and no matter how it turns out, I want to have stuff that we bought specifically for this baby, I felt like he deserved we've bought a handful of outfits but will probably hold off on major purchases for awhile longer. (We've already picked out a crib and will be ordering it the day I turn 24 weeks. It's actually the same crib we bought with Olivia, it hadn't been in stock yet when everything went wrong, so I was able to cancel it and they let me get my refund back over the phone so I didn't have to go in the store.)

  4. Oh yeah, thanks Angie, forgot d. Delivery- who cares, with the Tac you get an obligatory C section.
    No hair dye in the first trimester, got it. Foils later maybe.

  5. Hello! Thanks for visiting my blog. I can't believe what a rough year you have had. A biochemical pregnancy is still a pregnancy, and it's loss is still a miscarriage. No question. I'm so sorry you have had to endure so many losses this year, but I am excited for you that you are now pregnant again!! Go BabyH!!

  6. I agree with A, B and C! Sex? What's that again? I was an obsessive exerciser and now - nothing. The most I get is getting up and going to bathroom. That classifies right?

    In terms of books, if you hear of any books please let me know because the "What to Expect" doesn't cut it for me.

  7. I avoided all three of those things during pregnancy! And we still were able to pull it all together when our little girl arrived. Congrats on the pregnancy and happy ICLW!