Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Honey, I shrunk the sweater!

Welcome to the ICLW crowd (I wish for a crowd, ha!), thank you for stumbling over here, my story is here.  I have a stillborn son, and am now pregnant for the fourth time this year (no, I am not a gerbil, although sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier to be one).  I hope this one sticks, and it is looking very hopeful so far.  Or maybe I am feeling very hopeful because I am deluded, but either way it's good. The previous losses were the stillbirth in Jan 2, 2010, and two subsequent biochemical pregnancies, which I know I should not classify as "losses" in the real medical sense, but they just felt that way to me.  I also don't get pregnant the old-fashioned way.  I have a costly and addictive IVF habit, only marginally more justifiable than crack.  Come to think of it, if I were a crack addict I would be pregnant probably even more often, and really, who gets pregnant more often than a gerbil?

Now, I wonder what possessed me to take on the ICLW commitment, at a point in my life where I need to sleep almost non stop.  The pregnancy demons (also known as the pregmons) are taking over my brain.  On top of needing to sleep the moment I get back home from work in the evenings, I am also engaging in embarrassing and destructive behaviours.  Two days ago, when I was bleeding and thought I am miscarrying, I decided to wash my clothes as the pile of laundry was threatening to take over my closet and suffocate my purse collection, and we can't have that happen around here.  I put in the wash (on regular cycle) and then in the dryer, my 500$ Brunello Cucinelli white cashmere sweater!!!! It is the single most expensive piece of clothing that I own(ed).  Even my wedding dress was cheaper.  And I loved loved loved that sweater to death.  It is still wearable, if you like three quarter length sleeves.  Ughhhhh.  Please anyone out there in the universe reading this story, tell me that you have done a similarly stupid thing, otherwise I will continue to bite my nails until they fall off.

Also, if anyone out there can confess to eating 10 chocolates today, that would make me feel less alone as well.  For all my vegan pleas, I seem to be lacking in motivation, or something short circuited my brain and I forgot that I am not supposed to be eating junk food anyway.  I. Must. Absolutely. Stop.  I know that putting weight on in pregnancy means having to keep it until nine months later when one can start exercising and dieting again.  Every indulgence that will add on an extra two pounds (like the ten chocolates) is something that I am doomed to carry on my love handles until next fall.  MUST REMEMBER.  If only I had a brain to record all these details with.  Unfortunately, it has been taken over by a small placenta, and it will be returned to me sometime late next year.  Until then, we'll have to make do with the temporarily modified IQ of 64.  I wonder if I qualify for government assistance.  Perhaps they can send over someone to do my laundry, since obviously I can't handle that complex task myself.

10 comments:

  1. OK, I admit, I did it too, did them too. I shrunk my only cashmere sweater, from Gap, but nevertheless, the dearest of them all with the nicest color blue. I still wear it even thought my muffin top gets out every move I make. By the way, it was covering my hips before. And, I had, despite my muffin top, probably more than ten chocolates today. Two of them were eaten going in and out of my counselor's office. Just like that. I seem to have a radar for chocolate in the least expected places. So there, feel better now?

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  2. Please, I eat a bag of chocolates in a day sometimes, course.... I have gremlins that love to help me... so really, I don't eat them, but they disappear! Regardless, I shrunk one of my favorite sweaters once while I was pregnant... then I put it away, hoping I'd have a girl that would fit into it when she was about...... 4 ... yep.... mine turned out much smaller then yours! And please, the abuse a body takes while pregnant is the best thing to complain about to the gremlins later....... "you see this, YOU did this to me" .. it's a right of passage!

    Serious note: I hope and pray this is a sticky baby for you. As someone who has gone through 14 miscarriages, I know how mind blowing crushing they are and no one should have to go through that multiple times if ever.

    Happy ICLW from #37 and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

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  3. COngratulations on your sticky little one! I am here from ICLW.
    I recently put two sweaters in the wash and they shrunk to, don't hate me, a size that fits better. One was an awkward length and now it is something I can actually wear. Shrinking the $500 sweater blows, but you can blame it on the pregnancy, what better reason to blow $500?
    Congrats, again :)

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  4. This is hilarious! And I've done much worse than 10 chocolates, my friend. You're still in the minor leagues. I have done similarly brainless things so far this pregnancy ... shrinking clothes to a dolls' size is just one of them. I figure the trade of "brain" for "live baby" is worth it. And you'll get better. Thinking positive thoughts for you and your little one!!

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  5. thanks for stopping by my blog, your comment actually gave me inspiration for today's post!!

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  6. girl i always smile when i read your posts. you have such a way with words, and you are so funny. ♥

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  7. Good luck with the laundry! I am sorry to hear about the sweater mishap, but thanks for making me laugh:)

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  8. haha. Oh MrsH. I cant wait to see you with 6 month baby brain :) Love it! :). And the sweater.. shhh.. I shrunk one once, thankfully not a 500.00 one! I did accidentally throw out one of my 300.00 sandels though. That hurt!
    oh, I also dyed my husbands whites (he's a baker) pink! I had to invest in bleach stocks! Sticky baby, stay stuck! I ate a good dozen chocolates today, but really, I didn't count I just know that the top layer of those darn pot of gold went really quickly.

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  9. On Saturday night, the anniversary of my son's death, I attempted to eat myself into a chocolate coma. Unfortunately because I've been in training I didn't succeed in going into a coma (I was hoping I'd stay in the coma until August - just in time to give birth), but I did eat all the chocolate in the world. I'm sorry; I'm the reason there's none for you now.

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  10. Here from ICLW :) I wish I had some great pregnancy stories to tell you about mommy brain and such things, but no luck. I will say that I do silly things like that and I haven't had the excuse of the placenta sucking the brain cells out of me :) Sending prayers for you, your hubs, your angel and your new miracle. Best wishes to you.

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