Post from the House of Grumps

My period came today, but very light compared to the usual punishment by exsanguination that happens to me every month.  I think it might have something to do with Suprefact, I have asked the IVF clinic and the nurse did not know.  My travel plans will only have to be delayed by one day, not the worst case scenario. I have decided to fly back immediately after the embryo transfer.  I used to be cautious and wait for one day, but now after six attempts, I am pretty cavalier, and have adopted my IVF clinic's advice:  if it is meant to work it will work, go ahead and fly.  I only wish that MrH would be able to be there for the transfer, but to ask the poor man to travel each time I do a transfer in the unlikely scenario that he might be witnessing the beginnings of his child if it works... well it makes no sense financially, and after all of our optimistic cycles went to dust, now we are both "like, whatever", so we really couldn't care less.  I doubt I am even going to be talking to the embryos this time, like I did in the past.  On the other hand, I am not one to miss a life experience, even if it leads to pain afterwards, so I think I will end up getting bloody attached to the embryos, like I usually do, naming them, putting their picture in my album, writing letters to them in my diary, and generally planning the rest of my life in the short ten days of hope that I am allowed with every cycle, until my period comes again (or until I test, if I can't help my itchy fingers).  

Other than that bit of news, here's another piece of groundbreaking information:  I think I have Tourette's syndrome.  I feel like swearing just about every day.  I woke up this morning telling my uterus to "mensturate, you bitch!".  Yesterday I saw a pregnant woman that I know only vaguely, socially, and got so irritated with her (and I mean I don't know the woman at all!) and with her big belly and her bovine look that I thought to myself "pregnant cow".  Please forgive me and believe me that I don't usually think that way, or talk that way, and that in fact I like the round ripe look of pregnant women, their warmth and their softness.  I actually don't know at all why this particular woman annoyed me, it has been ages since anything to do with pregnancy or babies annoyed me, and I am not proud of myself for thinking this way, but the Tourette's got in the way.  I just know she really did, her mental image still does today, and that I want to be able to be honest on the blog.  

I also got very irritated with a young lady just because she dared to have a lot of kids, and is obviously extremely fertile.  Again, irritating things that do not happen to me anymore, or I used to think they don't.  Never at work, always in social circles.  At work I like fertile people, the more the merrier, they keep me busy, since my work life rotates around fertility and obstetrical issues and children, and I love it that way.  Outside of work however, I would probably prefer that everybody be sterilized for the next couple of months while I am going through my next three or four IVF's.  What do you mean, you don't think so?  Is it so much to ask?  Oh, and if we could please ask anybody with more than two children to kindly refrain from leaving the house in order to avoid rubbing your obvious fertility in my face, that would be nice.  Thank you, from the House Of Grumps.