Over the past two weeks I have been working hard on my Avatar body: running 8 km about 4 times a week, cycling twice a week on the stationary bike for 1.5 hours, or doing one hour on the elliptical trainer. The hope was for a tiny waist and strong legs, like Neytiri, if not for the ability to jump from branch to branch like a flying trapeze artist. I have weighed myself this morning, and instead of losing the 5 lb that were standing between me and the Na'vi race, I have now GAINED 4 lb! I think no one will be confusing me with the blue princess anytime soon. MrH thinks it is all muscle development, but I know better, it is the hormonal storm of SuperFat usurping any reasonable efforts to fit into my hard earned skinny jeans.
In addition to this bit of good news, I woke up feeling very pessimistic about this IVF and any pregnancy that might or might not happen: I feel that either I will not get pregnant, because surely something mysterious is wrong with me and I cannot get pregnant EVER again, only no one is realizing it yet... or if I do get pregnant, then the cerclage will fail, and I will be even worse off than I am now, because I really don't know what I would do then. Perhaps try surrogacy. I really don't know. What is there after TAC? Another TAC? I am getting closer to the end of the rope and that is a scary thought.
On the plus side, Shoppers has another sale on and I have my eye on a new perfume, it is called PLAY by Givenchy. If the mood does not improve by Friday I fully intend to take advantage of the "20 times the points" deal and cheer myself up with the lovely smell.