settling in...again

My miniature daughter is settling in again.  She cried heartily last night, and was very fussy the whole day yesterday, to the point that I became worried that I would never shower/floss/get dressed again.  I can do things with one hand while breastfeeding football style at the same time quite well.  And she likes to latch and stay on the breast non stop when she is hungry or cranky.  Both of which adjectives applied to her yesterday though, as my milk was still in pretty poor supply after my bleeding episode, and it took a while to build it back up.  For the record, I am taking motilium (domperidone) which has never been approved for this usage (breast milk augmentation) but who cares, it works, and it has no side effects in me (it's supposed to cause diarrhea, but with all the iron pills I am taking, it balances out nicely).

Anyway, after a day like yesterday I was a bit worried about the future of my personal hygiene and also about what kind of food can I cook with one hand, I mean one cannot even open a can of tuna with one hand only.  I was ready to google "how to go through life using just one hand" and join some one-handed support groups out there.  Then, miraculously, Emma slept well last night (six hours straight), ate very well the whole day, my milk came in abundantly again, and she is a different child.  She feeds, then she sleeps, we can go for a long walk in the stroller and there is minimal fussing.  I even sorted out my cashmere sweaters today (with both hands!) and took them out of the freezer where I store them in summer, so that the moths don't get them.  Winter is coming up here in the North :(

So that is when I discovered that she is not a fussy child at all, she is just not full enough, and if I don't have enough milk she will cry and tug at my breast like a little kitten until she gets full.  I think it is an instinctual way of stimulating me to produce more prolactin, and hence more milk.  I am so happy when I hear her little gulping sounds, there is nothing that relaxes me more.

I am less of a formula nazi but I still avoid it like the plague if I can.  It constipates her, and gives her cramps, and it made her skin break out during the two days that I was in ICU and then recovering on the ward without her.  On the plus side, it is so quick to feed her a bottle, OMG she gulps it down in three seconds flat and doesn't even burp!  I can totally see the attraction of bottle feeding, especially formula which does not require pumping and takes one second to prepare.  And then keeps her full for hours afterwards.

That being said, it is so sweet to see her sleep at night with her head between my breasts, and to wake up to her kitten face and lip smacking sounds, then to feed her half asleep and to snooze while feeling her tugging at my nipple.  The closeness is unbeatable.  Last night she once again latched on by herself, and I woke up because my nipple was hurting.  I was ready to say to MrH to "stop that, it hurts" thinking that he was up to no good, but then realized that my daughter had found my breast while I was sleeping and was helping herself to a snack.  That was so funny and sweet at the same time.

Life is getting back to normal.  And I am happy to report that I have flossed tonight.