day 11

Life is so sweet and smooth.  Emma is now taking the breast with very little fuss, and she sleeps well in between feeds.  She is actually a very "good" baby by general standards, I would be happy with her anyway, but I am definitely a better person after a good night's sleep.

I sleep MUCH better now with a newborn than I did during my last trimester of pregnancy.  The restless legs are gone, and I can fall asleep easily next to her.  We are continuing to sleep in the same bed, and all three of us like it.  If you remember, I had initially ordered a crib that I fell in love with, the Stokke Sleepi crib, and I had found a site in the US that was a couple of hundred dollars cheaper.  This was in June.  In August they emailed me to tell me that it will be another couple of months until they ship it.  At that point I had decided to listen to MrH, who had prior experience with his offspring not wanting to sleep in a crib, and I got a king size bed (and cancelled the crib purchase).  Then, for some reason, I got anxious about all the home renovations that needed to be done to accommodate the king size bed (aka covering some holes in the walls, getting matching paint, etc), and cancelled the king size bed, reordering the crib again from a site in Vancouver.  Now, after I brought her home, and slept with her in our bed, and feel so very very happy doing it, I have decided that no crib is necessary, and cancelled the crib, then... bought another king size bed.  This time I am not cancelling it.  I actually just got an organic mattress and box spring, and because it was organic, it was expensive, and I don't have any money left over for a proper bed, so I am buying a metal frame, and the actual bed will come in time (like when I go back to work).  I am only giving this detailed account to illustrate how indecisive my post partum brain can be.

Totally unrelated is the fact that I went to buy jeans yesterday, and I could not find anything in the regular store to fit me!!!!!!!!!! I had to buy a pair of stretchy high waist jeans from ... THE PLUS SIZE STORE.  I am officially obese.  And I don't feel unhappy at all.  I just feel beautiful and normal.  If it weren't for Emma and this insane happiness that I am floating in, I would have been devastated.  But like this, I just shrug and eat less.  And it's all going to sort itself out.  I can't believe how relaxed about life I can be with my little kitten sleeping on my chest.