update from the land of the still alive

Emma got here today and the poor soul latched on my breast at 1 pm and she has not let go until 6 pm, when she took an hour break for a nap, then back on.  I was worried badly that she would not take the breast, since she was on formula for the whole time we were separated, but she still remembers how to latch, she does not mind that my  milk is slightly bitter from the large doses of IV clindamycin, and I am still making enough milk for her (although of course what she used to get in 20 minutes she must now work for a couple of hours to extract...).  My mom told me that yesterday before bedtime she took 150 mL.  Well, on my best pumping sessions I was not able to express more than 50 ml in almost one hour.  So, big difference. 

She is also quite constipated, another side effect from the formula that I hope the breast milk will rectify quickly.  My breasts are finally feeling empty and soft.  The cracks have healed in the two days of pumping, and as a bonus  I know now that she will easily take a bottle which I can easily pump for her, and then happily go back to the breast with no fuss.  She does not seem to have nipple confusion.  My mom also convinced her to take the soother for about ten minutes at a time, which is progress. 

It is so good to be alive.  I read more about this subinvolution of the placental site, there is an article that explains it as abnormal healing of the placental attachment,  where the uterine lining should reform normal blood vessels but instead it continues to behave as if still pregnant and stays raw.  Less than  1% of women have a delayed post partum hemorrhage, and of course a small number of these are due to this particular complication, more due to infection or retained products of conception.  Half of all the women that bleed from this condition end up with a hysterectomy, because of the ineffectiveness of the dilation and curettage.  I take the fact that I kept my uterus as a sign that am extremely lucky, and that perhaps God would like me to have another baby someday.  First, I have to give the docs time to recover from the shock.  Apparently when the plane came to get me they were giving each other a group hug and trying to recover from the mental trauma.