Emma had her first checkup today, at three weeks of age, and she is not yet back up to birth weight. Her birth weight was 3.67 kg and she still weighs only 3.48 kg, about 200 grams below (7 oz). Theoretically she could catch up in one week. Practically, I hope she does. She has grown in length and head circumference, but the rate of growth is slower than expected in both.
Clearly this hemorrhage episode of mine has taken a toll on her. Her weight was about the same as it is now in week two of life, just before my bleeding episode, so for the past week she has probably done poorly, with me trying to establish my milk supply again. Not to mention that we had difficulties right after birth as well for a bit, with her losing almost 10% of her weight because I did not have much colostrum and then I took a while to build the milk up to meet her needs.
I did worry, and still do a little, but instinctually I feel that things are improving and that she will catch up. There is a big difference between the fussiness of yesterday, when all she wanted is to be on the breast, and the contentedness of today, when she slept for 3-4 hours at lunch, and had a bit of social time too. I think that the lack of gain is reflecting a past, not present, problem. That being said, I also struggle with the feeling that I am inadequate once again as far as reproduction goes, and that I am failing yet another basic human function, that of feeding one's infant. But those are my own feelings, and I don't plan on letting them interfere too much if I can. I know that supplementing would help with the growth in the immediate future, but I also know that in the long run it will deprive her as my milk supply will only go down once again, probably for good this time, and that she will not have the benefit of being breastfed like I planned for her.
I will weigh her again in one week. I am expecting a pleasant surprise.