I had a pretty hard time sleeping up to now, since I got home. I don't know exactly why, but I think it is because I am now sleeping with MrH, and hence I have to adjust to having another person that I love so much next to me (and only half to one third of the bed), plus I get up late in the mornings, much later than at my parents's house (they used to wake up and make noise at seven am). Last night I slept better, for the first time. I hope things will continue to improve. Otherwise I am up until five am admiring my loving husband in his sleep, and feeling very lucky to have my whole family in one bed. Warning: being too happy can keep one awake.
Grandma is a challenge, or as I like to call it, an exercise in patience. She gets very cold and won't let me open windows or turn on the fans. I walk around practically naked to avoid boiling. She also gets upset if I leave the house for more than one hour, probably because she is bored without me, and tries to make me feel guilty. Too bad, I still need to do my own thing. If there is one lesson I have from MrH, it's that we must let each other live. Amen.
On the other hand I am learning lots about traditional Romanian cooking, which I am required to do with her daily. If I don't, then she panics about there not being enough food in the fridge. I am seriously looking forward to being allowed to eat my grains, beans and veggies without being constantly reminded that I am going to fall over and die if I don't eat meat.
Emma is moving lots, and we are competing for space now. I need someplace to park my liver, she needs to stretch her legs, and we are fighting for the little bit of real estate that my body can offer. I dreamt that I was having a lot of bleeding all of a sudden, and that I needed an emergency c/section. In my dream, I was diagnosed with bleeding from vasa previa, which is a very very rare condition. Why would I dream of that, only Jung would know, and he died before telling me. Hopefully everything will go according to plan, and no emergency c/s will take place, because I have arranged everything for the planned date, and I don't even have a hospital bag. I got some baby wipes, and that is about it. I still need diapers (I only have cloth at home, and need some newborn size disposables for the hospital), some granny pants, some giant pads, and pajamas. Plus toiletries. Our hospital does not provide diapers or pads anymore. At least I don't need to bring my own anesthetic, that's all that matters. And the anesthetist that works on my c/s day is generous with drugs, he gave me the anesthetic when I had the TAC placement operation, and I was in Lala Land the whole time, despite the fact that it was done under a spinal.
I am kidding, I don't actually want drugs, I want to be able to get out of recovery as soon as possible so that I can hold Emma next to me. The one hour interval between the c/s and holding the baby seems impossibly long. Perhaps I can bribe the nurses in recovery to allow MrH to bring her to me, but I am not going to hold my breath about it.