I feel like this pregnancy is turning me into a less than ideal mother for Emma. I am very sick and tired all the time. The nausea is making me miserable, and the bleeding is causing depression and worry. Emma, on the other hand, is full of energy and demanding, she is not letting me get her clothes on, runs around naked with me trying to chase after her with a diaper, and generally behaves like a 2 year old. I have little energy for 2 year old antics, I swear. Sometimes I wonder if I am not doing her a disservice by having another baby, because apart from a brief period of time in which I might feel good around 25-32 weeks (if I make it that far) the rest of the pregnancy will be one huge nausea cloud.
From my experience, having a newborn was tough, and Emma was not easy, but the pregnancy is by far the worst part of the experience. I am just not used to never ending sickness. And it is certainly taking its toll on all of us.
Hang in there. This time of your life will pass too soon. Enjoy your kid when you can and do not feel guilty when you don't. Make up for it during the good times.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how I have felt. Now that I'm in my 2nd trimester, I am no longer running for the bathroom to puke, but doing too much makes me want to nap. I have more energy, but my patience (which I don't have much to begin with) runs thin and by the end of the day I am just done parenting. I have freaked out more than once that I'm a horrible mom to G and was trying to have another baby a good idea??
ReplyDeleteJust know you aren't alone! I hope the morning sickness ends soon.