Today I celebrate my hundredth day of being pregnant with babyH. A lot of miracles had to take place for this to happen. The conception itself was a miracle, and something that we were certain that would not be possible four years ago when we got married (when we got married, MrH and I were absolutely sure that we could not have biological children together, and hence explored initially the donor route, until miracle worker no 1, my RE at the IVF clinic, tried a certain new technique that, to our great surprise, worked well both for Adrian and for babyH). So, it is a miracle that the embryos were conceived to begin with.
It is also a miracle that I got pregnant, after one year of trying and not succeeding, and then another year of trying and not succeeding after losing Adrian. Every pregnancy is a miracle, but even more so for a woman like me who does not get pregnant easily. But the thing that brings me the most hope and that I find the most miraculous is the trans abdominal cerclage, which nobody else wanted to give me except for my OB, miracle worker no 2. He has disregarded the MFM suggestions for another TVC and went ahead to do a procedure that he had not really done before as a preventative measure, and only once as a rescue measure. I will never forget that he did this for me when no one else would, following his belief that in my case it was the right thing to do, and his instinct that it would work better.
There are other things that bring me hope as well. Living in a world where all of this is possible, the IVF, the operations, the surrogacy that I might go to if this does not work. So many possibilities that would have not been there for me in another time and place. If I were born 100 years ago, my life would have consisted of getting pregnant and miscarrying at 18 weeks every time, and going over and over through the first trimester extreme nausea and vomiting that I go through. Possibly 20-30 times. Unless I were dealing with a bit of infertility then as well, to give me a break from that kind of miserable existence.
I feel lucky and blessed on a very deep level. Seeing my husband's happiness and love for babyH adds to the long list of blessings. I am full of hope at this point in my life, and it is not just the pregnancy that gives that hope to me, but also the long list of wonderful people that have supported me and did their best. I could have never done this by myself. I truly takes a village to make babyH.
I am entering the blog hop that Francesca started, for talking about what brings us hope. I did not put down so many other things that give me hope, this is only a small list, but in reading the other ladies' posts I find similar feelings, so between all of us we will create a clearer picture of the complex tapestry of hope in our lives.