Monday, January 17, 2011

MrsH versus her Stomach on trial

Here are excerpts from a mock trial of MrsH accusing her Stomach of manslaughter:

"Your Honour, my client MrsH was clearly being set up by her Stomach into an ambush.  He signalled to her that it would be ok to eat Exhibit A, the entire plate of sauerkraut and three spring rolls.  My client thought that she was doing what the Stomach asked for, when only five minutes later the Stomach started attacking viciously and caused my client to start vomiting violently.  To further  prove the malevolent intentions of the accused, even after all his contents were eliminated, the Stomach kept on contracting and making her sick for an entire day afterwards.  Your Honour, this was clearly not necessary, and hopefully the Jury can see that the Stomach has alternate motives in this case.  He is obviously jealous of the new pregnancy and is trying to establish that he is still the boss.  He behaved in a similar manner during my client's previous pregnancy, and warned her through hate letters that if she were to get pregnant again, I quote, "I'm gonna get ya' bitch".    My client chose to ignore this bullying and live her life anyway, but we asked that the Stomach be admonished into good behaviour for the remainder of this pregnancy, or at the very least that the Stomach's misbehaviour have an end sometime in the next two weeks, as my client is approaching the end of her first trimester.  Thank you, Your Honour and esteemed Jury". 

I am clearly watching too much of "The Good Wife". 


  1. You crack me up! Especially to see that you wrote this at 7am in the morning when I was still busy fixing my hair and waking up my daughter to get her ready for daycare. Which makes me think - get all the writing you can on this blog out before the baby comes because you won't have any time after! :)

  2. LOL. Maybe this will cheer you up... I’m giving you the Stylish Blogger award! :-) Click back over to my blog to check it out!