I am not fat, I have a hematoma

I have been on my feet this whole week, and naturally started developing a bit of a hematoma around the incision, as all the blood pools around there aided by gravity.   Over the past day though, it seems to me that it has gotten worse.  I am trying hard to ignore it, but it is bulging in such a way that I don't fit into any of my normal pants, and only the fat pants can zip over it without making me flinch in pain every time I breathe.

That is not the main problem though.  The main problem is that this morning, when I stepped on the scale (I step on the scale obsessively every morning after I pee), I weighed four pounds more than my usual weight.  I have gained some weight during the last IVF, and I really need to lose it, especially that I am heading towards another IVF soon.  But FOUR pounds is an awful lot!  I know that it might not be a lot for others, but ever since I had Adrian I am really unable to lose weight like I used to.  I went on a juice fast twice for 3 days each, and lost 3 lb.  MrH, on the exact same diet, lost 14 lb.  He looked cachectic.  Hence I know that there are 6 days of celery and cucumber juice in my near future.

Distraught, I went to MrH and asked him how much did he think the hematoma weighed.  He gauged it at about 2-3 lb.  That strangely made me feel better.  I have a 2 lb hematoma and I am happy!  MrH told me that I am quite crazy, in a lovely way, and I assured him I did not need a psychiatric assessment, just a hematoma measurement.

In any case, I am planning a 3 day juice fast sometime next week, probably starting on Tuesday would be ideal, since the Thanksgiving weekend is up now (in Canada) and I will need a bit of shrinking after all the expanding I am going to do over the next 3 days.  If anyone else in cyberspace is interested in doing the juice fast with me, let me know in the comments box, and we'll keep each other company.  There are no rules about what we juice, just as long as it is mostly vegetables, because fruits in excess will not lead to the much-desired shrinking.

Happy Thanksgiving to all that celebrate it this weekend, and I will be back posting on Tuesday when I will be cranky and hungry.