Speaking of hygiene though, I am still busy cleaning every square inch of the floor with the toothbrush. She is licking every square inch of the floor, so it only makes sense. Today I left her without her diaper on because she has a small diaper rash, and next thing I know she is playing with her hands in a puddle of urine, spreading it across the floor in a "wipe on, wipe off" kind of Karate kid motion. MrH noticed that she was trying to lap it up with her tongue, and I guess that is when we finally decided to intervene. Most of all, we like to let our kid roam free :) I should post the video of her pulling flocks of hair off the cat and putting them in her mouth.
No, seriously, what is the grossest thing your kid ever did? if you did not have kids, what is the grossest thing you did as a kid?
Changing her diaper is a wrestling match, in which mom has to pin Emma to the mat (mom-fifteen, Emma-zero), then Emma wriggles her way out as mom is busy putting the diaper under her (fifteen-love), then mom grabs Emma by her left foot and twists her with the back to the mat (mom-thirty, Emma -fifteen), then Emma screams bloody murder (thirty-love) while mom fastens the diaper (mom-fourty, Emma-thirty) and, if things go really well and all the stars are aligned, puts Emma's pants on as well (game point won). The other day though, she won an entire set by wiggling her way out of a poopy diaper on the bed, spreading the poop all over the newly changed (!!!) white sheets. Everybody got disinfected in the shower, including the cat.
And so we go on. Busy, busy life. I am not complaining though. I mean, it's not like I actually NEED to pee alone or anything. Never mind the fact that breakfast, lunch and dinner are optional meals. (I am exaggerating. We do eat dinner in my family. Everything else is grab-what-you-can style). This morning I woke up at six o'clock sharp with Emma thumping on my face and yelling "dadada". "Da"in Romanian means "yes". So NOT what I was thinking just around that time however.
The highlight of my complete breakdown as a person was not missing my car tire change appointment yesterday at 9 (and rushing in today at 9 thinking that today was yesterday), but missing my laser hair removal appointment, also scheduled for yesterday at 7 pm, and going in today AGAIN thinking that it was yesterday. If this makes any sense to anybody. I also lost all my phone numbers while doing the latest iphone update, so calling to confirm was difficult at best, but of course it is no excuse for the fact that I don't know what day it is, what planet I live on or what my role in life used to be. The only thing I know right now is pretty obvious: I am Emma's mom.