Thursday, May 3, 2012

Emma's mom lost her mind

Emma is still sick, now she is wheezing and I am giving her the occasional ventolin (salbutamol) puff when she sounds like she swallowed a little bird.  She is getting better (I hope) but at a very slow pace, and she hates it when I wipe her nose.  Hates it with a passion.  She wails so loud that I prefer to let the boogers drip into her mouth rather than have to listen to the wailing.  I want to be the cool mom, hygiene can go out the window.

Speaking of hygiene though, I am still busy cleaning every square inch of the floor with the toothbrush.  She is licking every square inch of the floor, so it only makes sense.  Today I left her without her diaper on because she has a small diaper rash, and next thing I know she is playing with her hands in a puddle of urine, spreading it across the floor in a "wipe on, wipe off" kind of Karate kid motion.  MrH noticed that she was trying to lap it up with her tongue, and I guess that is when we finally decided to intervene.  Most of all, we like to let our kid roam free :)  I should post the video of her pulling flocks of hair off the cat and putting them in her mouth.  

No, seriously, what is the grossest thing your kid ever did?  if you did not have kids, what is the grossest thing you did as a kid?

Changing her diaper is a wrestling match, in which mom has to pin Emma to the mat (mom-fifteen, Emma-zero), then Emma wriggles her way out as mom is busy putting the diaper under her (fifteen-love), then mom grabs Emma by her left foot and twists her with the back to the mat (mom-thirty, Emma -fifteen), then Emma screams bloody murder (thirty-love) while mom fastens the diaper (mom-fourty, Emma-thirty) and, if things go really well and all the stars are aligned, puts Emma's pants on as well (game point won).  The other day though, she won an entire set by wiggling her way out of a poopy diaper on the bed, spreading the poop all over the newly changed (!!!) white sheets.  Everybody got disinfected in the shower, including the cat. 

And so we go on.  Busy, busy life.  I am not complaining though.  I mean, it's not like I actually NEED to pee alone or anything.  Never mind the fact that breakfast, lunch and dinner are optional meals.  (I am exaggerating.  We do eat dinner in my family.  Everything else is grab-what-you-can style).  This morning I woke up at six o'clock sharp with Emma thumping on my face and yelling "dadada".  "Da"in Romanian means "yes".  So NOT what I was thinking just around that time however. 

The highlight of my complete breakdown as a person was not missing my car tire change appointment yesterday at 9 (and rushing in today at 9 thinking that today was yesterday), but missing my laser hair removal appointment, also scheduled for yesterday at 7 pm, and going in today AGAIN thinking that it was yesterday.  If this makes any sense to anybody.  I also lost all my phone numbers while doing the latest iphone update, so calling to confirm was difficult at best, but of course it is no excuse for the fact that I don't know what day it is, what planet I live on or what my role in life used to be.  The only thing I know right now is pretty obvious:  I am Emma's mom.  


  1. Oh yes, the diaper wrestling matches. At a year, they have stopped, but putting him in the carseat is a NIGHTMARE. I try to give myself an extra 10 minutes just to put him in the car if we *have* to be somewhere on time.
    Kids are gross. I gave up on germs. I try to prevent him from eating dogfood as much as I can, but I'm sure he's swallowed his fair share of it.

  2. Our little boy has just started potty training. (He just turned 1 a little while ago). Early this morning, he was clapping excitedly because he had pooped in the potty. Instead of taking him off right away, I went to get him some raisins (his reward for doing something, anything, in the potty). BAD MISTAKE!!

    I was gone for less than 60 seconds, and in this time he managed to slide off the potty (it is a little one and was on our dining room floor as I had been cooking in the kitchen), and then dragged his little butt across the dining room floor and onto the living room carpet. Then he stood up, apparently walked back to the potty, and stepped in his poo with one foot, and then run madly in circles around the living room. Uggghh! I've used my carpet cleaner twice already, and I still can't get the stains all out. Soooooo gross!

  3. Yahoo pictures! She's so gorgeous !! ~ Julie