Everything feels so stable! I have my ultrasound tomorrow at noon and will post the results of course, but I feel like everything is going well. I should not be too happy too soon, but in my previous pregnancy things had probably started going downhill about one week before the actual hospitalization (since that is approximately how long it takes most of the time, and I had started to feel that the baby was kicking lower at about that time). So I should be able to make it to 20 weeks then. And if so, perhaps even 21...22...dare I hope etc?
My little girl is active, and just as I was thinking that she does not kick as hard as Adrian used to, she is now proving me wrong by twirling batons just under my bellybutton. I have almost finished her 3 months knitted sweater, and have ordered clothes (gasp!!!) for her on ebay, since there is nowhere in my town to buy nice organic cotton stuff (or if there is, I don't know where it is, given that I have never had to buy baby clothes before). I don't technically have to get them so soon but I feel so excited by how well everything is going, that I gave into the optimism and the pleasure of planning and imagining. I plan on being minimalistic about baby stuff though, mostly because that is a life philosophy that I am trying to adhere to for years (yes, I know I am not good at it, but I keep on trying, and in some areas have succeeded).
This is the list of baby clothes that I got: six onesies and six full body pajamas for 0-3, same for 3-6 (all in cream, green and brown, so any combination thereof will match). Then I got three activewear (T-shirt and pants) in pink for 3-6 months. Also three blankets, one in cashmere (was a good deal and I wanted something divine and soft for my little girl) and two Koala brand (soft fleece I think). Also, got 5 small and 5 medium G.diapers (cloth diapering system) with cotton liners (25 each size). I am definitely doing the cloth diapers instead of disposable, although the G.diapers are hybrid diapers so I could use biodegradable liners and compost them afterwards (we compost in summers, in winter I don't think I could find the composter in the pile of snow on my deck, which is currently 1.5 m tall (I have to take a picture). I know that I sound envirocrazy here, but I don't really like the idea of disposable anything. I don't even use tampons, I use In.stead cups that I rewash and dry between uses (you're not supposed to do that, they tell you to throw them out, but I have not had any problems with this system in over two years).
Anyway, back to my ebay trip yesterday. I also got two used "Pea.in.the.pod" maternity tops, one in cashmere, the other in rayon/cotton blend. I am fed up with the cheap acrylic crap that I bought at Thyme maternity, it washes poorly and attracts cat hair, plus it feels plasticky on the skin. I am a total textile snob. I cannot stand synthetics. A blend, maybe, but 100% acrylic is an awful feeling, like wearing plastic bags knitted into garments. So I wear cashmere and silk and cotton, as daily wear, and my cat and birds put their claws into my silk pajamas, or make holes into my cashmere robe, but who cares, they are meant to be worn not kept for better days. And you know what? they still look better than any acrylic, even after I mend them. I am also not intimidated by the little "dry clean only" tag on the garments, which by the way I have NEVER done (I don't even know if we have a dry cleaner here in town). I put them in the wash on the handwash cycle, and dry them on a drying rack or flat on a towel, then iron them before use. I love to iron, and even iron my pajamas, my sweaters and my house robe. It is a Romanian thing, we like things crisp and ironed well.
I did acquire more clothes and more boots than I should have in a minimalist existence, but hey, I did say I am not very good at following the principles. My own interpretation of the minimalist philosophy has more to do with not having things in the house that don't get used, or that I don't love. And yes, I use all of my nine pairs of boots, and my eight pairs of gloves. (It is winter from September until May here, I don't really have any sandals). And my six designer purses. And I love them all. They all get to spend time doing active duty, as in, I don't protect them too much, I just wear them and use them and let them show signs of wear and tear. I don't mind that. An object that is well loved and well used is beautiful in its own way. I repair my shoes instead of replacing them (which is why I ended up with nine pairs). I went as far as to sew the seams on a pair of sandals two times, until the poor Korean shoe repair guy gave up on them. Now I need to resole my boots. I love doing things like that. I love it when my cookware looks used. I get stressed out when something is new and too shiny, and start to relax when the copper starts to tarnish a bit, or the cast iron has an used look to it.
I am writing a fair bit about my life philosophy because I have time to reflect on it. I am taking some time to read blogs of other people who do similar things, and have come to like the minimalist mom, a lady that lives in Vancouver and even got rid of her car. In my little town, it is very cold most of the year and my car which is 12 years old does not have a working heater. I drive in very freezing temperatures most of the time, but because I only drive short distances, I don't see why I have to replace the car for this reason only. Oh well, it does break down about once a year, and spends a minimum of two weeks in the shop each time, but it costs me less than a new car's lease for three months to fix it each time. And I love using it until it dies. The trick is having BCAA insurance for the towing each time.
So yes, this is what I like to do: get things I love, without looking too long and hard at the cost, and then use them until they fall apart. I don't like replacing things unless they break. Speaking of which: this morning I broke the scale. I stood on it and it clunk! broke. Literally. I have gained a total of 8 lb in this pregnancy, and apparently the scale had a nervous breakdown. I am going to have to buy another one eventually, so I will research different scales, and get one that is made of glass and looks pretty, even if it costs double of a normal scale, since I will be having it for many many years. I did the same thing with the blender: my old blender, a Phillips that I found at a garage sale when I was a poor student, worked until this year, when it died in a small cloud of smoke. I got a very sturdy and expensive (strong engine) blender from Blend.tech that will probably be good for the next 15 years. And I will probably not replace it until it also dies in a cloud of smoke. Same goes for everything I own appliance-wise. Unless it dies it cannot be replaced. Sometimes I pray for things to die sooner, so I can get something newer and more performant, like the handheld blender from Ba.mix. I had one from Cuisin.art, and it worked well, but I wanted the Ba.mix one because it foamed milk like beaten eggs, and in summer that made a nice dessert. I waited for one year for the Cuisin.art to die, and die it did, because it was a gift and hence not a sturdy well built item that I would have bought for myself, but rather a cheapo plastic thingy that cannot live with the large amount of soup blending and egg white fluffing that I do on a regular basis.
It does take a lot of discipline not to buy new and fancy things that look cool. Like I really wanted at some point to get a Bul.let blender (you know the ones they advertise on TV, where you press and it blends). I resisted the idea. It is made of plastic. It will break. Sooner than the large engine of the Blend.tech will. And the plastic will have to go and pollute the landfill outside of Littletown here, a landfill that used to be a hole and is now a respectable hill on top of which nothing will ever grow. Sad.
Anyway, I might be distracting myself from the ultrasound tomorrow with such thoughts, but hey, I am alone at home all day long knitting and have too much time to think about life and philosophy. I would love to hear what others think of this. Feel free to express the opposite point of view.