I have noticed that, for the past few months, Emma likes to collect things, and she does not let go of them. In fact, if she wakes up from sleep, she asks about those things, and if she cannot find them, she starts bawling and I cannot put her back to sleep until I look for them. I guess she decided that safest is to go to bed with whatever the object of interest du jour is. In the past week, she has gone to bed with the following: two rolling pins from the kitchen (night one), a sieve and a funnel (night two), a stuffed ladybug and a stuffed horse (night three), a baloon (night four), my makeup brushes, etc. She prefers to have two of whatever in general, one on each side. The rolling pins were especially memorable because they stuck into my ribs all night long, as we still sleep together, and every time I tried to remove them, she woke up and held on tight. Cannot interfere with her treasure, that's for sure.
Anyway, tomorrow is ultrasound day. Update afterwards. Merry Christmas in anticipation! I have a mixture of feelings of hope that this pregnancy does not end shortly after Christmas, like Adrian's did, and wanting to believe differently and to relax about the holidays so that I can enjoy them.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Saturday, December 14, 2013
18 weeks tomorrow
Whoa, it has been a whole month since I have last posted! Where did life run away with me? Emma is keeping me very busy for sure, but I think the main culprit is the low temperature in winter, and the snow with its worries. It takes an inordinate amount of time and effort just to keep the stairs and alley in front of the house clean, and we have had so much snow that we don't know where to put it anymore. The very cold weather (-22C all the time) makes it difficult even to just get out for a bit: one cannot just put on shoes and go. It takes a whole snowsuit into which I must coerce my daughter, running after her, pinning her down, etc. You get the idea. Then, just as I think I got it all done, she takes off her hat and throws it somewhere, preferably somewhere hard to find and/or reach. Like behind the bed, where only she can fit! She can be very naughty-sweet.
She is getting over her third or fourth ear infection of the year. On top of that, we have decided to stop the night milk bottles, because she was getting up four times a night in the last month, and I was getting very tired and cranky. She is still throwing a tamper tantrum every night at 3:30 am on the dot, but things are getting better. Even though she is awake for about 20 min, and us with her, it sure beats waking up four times a night!
Baby-in-the-belly looks good on the ultrasound, and the cervix at 16.5 weeks was 3 cm long. Not stellar, but also not worrisome. The placenta was awfully close to the internal os, about 9 mm away from it, but I think that it will move as the pregnancy progresses. I have another ultrasound scheduled on December 24, and then I am to see the OB on Dec 25 (he is on call so I guess it does not matter to him). I am getting a little more nervous as we approach the date where I lost Adrian. I noticed the amniotic leakage on Dec 27, and lost him on Jan 2. So, as long as I get past these dates, (preferably by two months or more) I will feel better. I am nervous again because this is a new cerclage, so it was not "tried and tested" with Emma. But it was well placed, so I don't see why it would not work.
Emma is very cute and bright. She sings a lot of songs, and likes to dance, and play on the piano (just pressing the keys, but I swear it sounds like music!) and to finger paint. We are doing a lot of brush painting, but it always ends up with her putting her fingers in it, so I switch to the finger paint because it has been known to end up in her mouth a couple of times.
She is still very picky about food, but is not skinny, rather muscular and well built. She likes stuffed cabbage leaves so I had to make some today, because I ran out of the frozen stash that I brought over from my mother. These are not the easiest food to master, because although making them is not hard, making them well is an art form that took my mom many decades to tweak. I am getting most of her tips, but I still feel like mine today turned out an 8/10. I would have liked more tanginess, so next time I am putting lemon juice in the water that I am boiling them in. Anyway, I digress. Emma liked them a lot, and she will be eating them for lunch for the next week, so we are all happy.
So far I have gained 10 lb. It is not too bad, but I fear the HOLIDAY WEIGHT MONSTER. I am very bad at restraining myself in social situations, and most of the Romanian meals are very full of goodies. Proof of my weakness is that yesterday, when we had our Christmas office party, I gained one pound for sure. Maybe more. I really have to remember how hard it was to take off 30 lb that I have gained with Emma, and to never never never have to go back to that again. I am just not ready for that kind of effort again, not with a toddler and a newborn in tow...
Anyway, I will try to post more regularly. I write posts in my head, usually at 3 am when Emma wakes me up, sometimes chuckle to myself at something funny, and then forget about it when I wake up in the morning. That is life.
PS. Emma loves the Christmas tree. Every morning she points to it and says:" look, mama maked it!" I pointed out that papa is the one that went through the effort of bringing the tree in and installing it, I just decorated it, and then she says "look, papa maked it!" Such a cute little girl, love love love her.
She is getting over her third or fourth ear infection of the year. On top of that, we have decided to stop the night milk bottles, because she was getting up four times a night in the last month, and I was getting very tired and cranky. She is still throwing a tamper tantrum every night at 3:30 am on the dot, but things are getting better. Even though she is awake for about 20 min, and us with her, it sure beats waking up four times a night!
Baby-in-the-belly looks good on the ultrasound, and the cervix at 16.5 weeks was 3 cm long. Not stellar, but also not worrisome. The placenta was awfully close to the internal os, about 9 mm away from it, but I think that it will move as the pregnancy progresses. I have another ultrasound scheduled on December 24, and then I am to see the OB on Dec 25 (he is on call so I guess it does not matter to him). I am getting a little more nervous as we approach the date where I lost Adrian. I noticed the amniotic leakage on Dec 27, and lost him on Jan 2. So, as long as I get past these dates, (preferably by two months or more) I will feel better. I am nervous again because this is a new cerclage, so it was not "tried and tested" with Emma. But it was well placed, so I don't see why it would not work.
Emma is very cute and bright. She sings a lot of songs, and likes to dance, and play on the piano (just pressing the keys, but I swear it sounds like music!) and to finger paint. We are doing a lot of brush painting, but it always ends up with her putting her fingers in it, so I switch to the finger paint because it has been known to end up in her mouth a couple of times.
She is still very picky about food, but is not skinny, rather muscular and well built. She likes stuffed cabbage leaves so I had to make some today, because I ran out of the frozen stash that I brought over from my mother. These are not the easiest food to master, because although making them is not hard, making them well is an art form that took my mom many decades to tweak. I am getting most of her tips, but I still feel like mine today turned out an 8/10. I would have liked more tanginess, so next time I am putting lemon juice in the water that I am boiling them in. Anyway, I digress. Emma liked them a lot, and she will be eating them for lunch for the next week, so we are all happy.
So far I have gained 10 lb. It is not too bad, but I fear the HOLIDAY WEIGHT MONSTER. I am very bad at restraining myself in social situations, and most of the Romanian meals are very full of goodies. Proof of my weakness is that yesterday, when we had our Christmas office party, I gained one pound for sure. Maybe more. I really have to remember how hard it was to take off 30 lb that I have gained with Emma, and to never never never have to go back to that again. I am just not ready for that kind of effort again, not with a toddler and a newborn in tow...
Anyway, I will try to post more regularly. I write posts in my head, usually at 3 am when Emma wakes me up, sometimes chuckle to myself at something funny, and then forget about it when I wake up in the morning. That is life.
PS. Emma loves the Christmas tree. Every morning she points to it and says:" look, mama maked it!" I pointed out that papa is the one that went through the effort of bringing the tree in and installing it, I just decorated it, and then she says "look, papa maked it!" Such a cute little girl, love love love her.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
it's a ...
So, earliest gender reveal on the internet ever, at 13w3d, courtesy of non invasive prenatal genetic testing. The baby is healthy. Has the right number of chromosomes. And the last two chromosomes are my X and mrH's Y.
A boy, due on the same day as Adrian... How many more coincidences? I am a bit stunned to be honest. I am excited about it, but really have no idea what to do with a little boy. How often do I need to wash his penis? Did I just say penis? Can I still have a bath with him naked when he is two years old, like I do now with Emma? Can we be as comfortable with each other's bodies as Emma and I are? I want that intimacy again, and fear that it will be different with a boy, that he won't come as close, or let me as close to him.
And then there's the clothes...I want to cry thinking that no baby of mine will wear the little pink socks that Emma will outgrow. All of the little girly outfits that I have loved so much...I know that this is superficial, and I am deeply aware of the gift of being able to raise a baby boy, that will turn into a man one day, which is worth so much more than pink ruffles...but still, pink ruffles...
A boy, due on the same day as Adrian... How many more coincidences? I am a bit stunned to be honest. I am excited about it, but really have no idea what to do with a little boy. How often do I need to wash his penis? Did I just say penis? Can I still have a bath with him naked when he is two years old, like I do now with Emma? Can we be as comfortable with each other's bodies as Emma and I are? I want that intimacy again, and fear that it will be different with a boy, that he won't come as close, or let me as close to him.
And then there's the clothes...I want to cry thinking that no baby of mine will wear the little pink socks that Emma will outgrow. All of the little girly outfits that I have loved so much...I know that this is superficial, and I am deeply aware of the gift of being able to raise a baby boy, that will turn into a man one day, which is worth so much more than pink ruffles...but still, pink ruffles...
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
anxiety
I am very anxious because tomorrow or so I should be getting the results of the NIPT, the non invasive chromosomal testing. Most importantly I worry about chromosomal abnormalities, but also I get to find out the sex of the baby, which makes me nervous and excited. I did not think that I should be so nervous, because the chances of a problem are quite low, but man, I am anxious and I have not slept very well last night. (Well, waking up because of puking is also interfering with my sleep, what can I say...).
Friday, November 8, 2013
not much new
I am becoming one of those annoying women who forget that they are pregnant and just go on with their lives without worrying all that much about, you know, losing their baby every three seconds. I guess the fact that the nausea has improved is also conducive to feeling good and optimistic. I have finally managed to send in the NIPT test for chromosomes and am waiting for the results, which I should have by next week. I am a little unsettled when I have to wait for results, but frankly 1:500 chances are not my big worry here (I am talking about the odds of Down's syndrome for the age of egg retrieval, which was when I was a youthful 32).
On the plus side, next week I get to find out the sex of the baby, which is so exciting! If it is a boy, I think he will be wearing pink cloth diapers, unless I can think of a way to dye them safely.
I am gaining weight at a rate of 1 lb per day if I eat more than 1600 calories per day. If you read any of the recommended diets for pregnant women, they range from 2400 to 3100 calories a day. Really? Who eats that much? If I eat 2400 calories a day, I expand so much that it is scary. Since I have stopped being so nauseated and am eating better, I have put on three pounds, and it has all happened in the one week when I was eating around 2000 calories 'cause I was hungry, I mean I hadn't eaten in like three months, so I was like a possessed woman.
This is my very boring diet: one banana, one cup of yogourt, berries, green leaves mixed with soy milk in the blender (we call it "green milk" in my house, and it is a way to get Emma to have her leafy greens), one or two eggs, a few slices of turkey breast, a slice of bread or some crackers at lunch, a handful or two of mixed nuts, and chicken or beans or fish with more veggies for dinner. About 1500 calories or so. I also drink about two cups of tea with one teaspoon of honey each, so another 100 or so from beverages.
I really would like to stick with the 30 lb recommended for this pregnancy. Ideally 25 lb, as I started in the overweight range, but since I was only "overweight" by one lb, I won't worry too much about that designantion.
On the plus side, next week I get to find out the sex of the baby, which is so exciting! If it is a boy, I think he will be wearing pink cloth diapers, unless I can think of a way to dye them safely.
I am gaining weight at a rate of 1 lb per day if I eat more than 1600 calories per day. If you read any of the recommended diets for pregnant women, they range from 2400 to 3100 calories a day. Really? Who eats that much? If I eat 2400 calories a day, I expand so much that it is scary. Since I have stopped being so nauseated and am eating better, I have put on three pounds, and it has all happened in the one week when I was eating around 2000 calories 'cause I was hungry, I mean I hadn't eaten in like three months, so I was like a possessed woman.
This is my very boring diet: one banana, one cup of yogourt, berries, green leaves mixed with soy milk in the blender (we call it "green milk" in my house, and it is a way to get Emma to have her leafy greens), one or two eggs, a few slices of turkey breast, a slice of bread or some crackers at lunch, a handful or two of mixed nuts, and chicken or beans or fish with more veggies for dinner. About 1500 calories or so. I also drink about two cups of tea with one teaspoon of honey each, so another 100 or so from beverages.
I really would like to stick with the 30 lb recommended for this pregnancy. Ideally 25 lb, as I started in the overweight range, but since I was only "overweight" by one lb, I won't worry too much about that designantion.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
update 12w4d
Ain't this weird? They have discovered a new ligament in the knee. How is that even possible? It's a bit like looking at your hands for a lifetime and discovering that you actually have a sixth finger that you never noticed on the right hand. We do MRI's and arthroscopies and open up knees and dissect them all the time, and hey, look at that, a new ligament that nobody had seen before... I wonder what they thought it was before? a piece of chicken fat?
Anyway, I was amused a bit reading this today. I am feeling better recently, and have started taking Emma to the pool, playing with her, and teaching her numbers and letters. She is very stubborn and does not like being shown anything, so I have to be very sneaky about teaching her. The moment it looks like I am trying to teach her something, she completely loses interest and wants to do something else. If however it looks like I am playing, then she joins in. For the letters, I have filled a plate with cornmeal and we are drawing them with our finger in the cornmeal. Messy, but reasonably effective.
Emma is also very much in love with the ipad/iphone apps and she learns from those as well. There are apps that teach shapes, and numbers, and letters. The problem is that she only wants to play the app with the shapes, because she knows all her shapes and she always wins the "stickers". Again, if something is difficult or she is not very good at it already, she wants nothing to do with it. How is this child ever going to learn anything? I hope it is just a two year old phase that will pass by the time she has to go to school.
That's about it for the update. I will post again on the long weekend, since I will have more time.
Anyway, I was amused a bit reading this today. I am feeling better recently, and have started taking Emma to the pool, playing with her, and teaching her numbers and letters. She is very stubborn and does not like being shown anything, so I have to be very sneaky about teaching her. The moment it looks like I am trying to teach her something, she completely loses interest and wants to do something else. If however it looks like I am playing, then she joins in. For the letters, I have filled a plate with cornmeal and we are drawing them with our finger in the cornmeal. Messy, but reasonably effective.
Emma is also very much in love with the ipad/iphone apps and she learns from those as well. There are apps that teach shapes, and numbers, and letters. The problem is that she only wants to play the app with the shapes, because she knows all her shapes and she always wins the "stickers". Again, if something is difficult or she is not very good at it already, she wants nothing to do with it. How is this child ever going to learn anything? I hope it is just a two year old phase that will pass by the time she has to go to school.
That's about it for the update. I will post again on the long weekend, since I will have more time.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Halloween memories
I thought I was on the ball getting Emma her Halloween costume one month before, in September. She was into lions at that time, and I asked my mom to bring a lion costume from Vancouver when she came to visit.
Well, we tried to get her into it but she was simply terrified of it...she would not go near it, and if we tried to put it on ourselves she would start crying hysterically. And it was NOT a scary costume, it was just a body and a mane. In the end, I borrowed an elephant costume from someone and tried to get her into it. She did not want to put the hat on, which made the entire costume look weird (like a grey body suit), and most importantly refused to walk in it, which meant that I had to carry her to the neighbours' houses for trick-or-treating.
Did we get much candy? Not really...and I had to give it all away again because despite having bought six kilos of candy bars for that night, we had so many kids come to the door that we were out of sweets in about one hour. We had to open the door and embarrassingly tell kids that we had no more candy. That was quite the moment!
It was a pretty tiring Halloween. Emma did not like the kids coming to the house dressed up in scary costumes, she got a bit freaked out. Not to mention that the whole concept of having to give away candy was not in her list of favourite ways to spend Thursday nights either.
What she did like though was carving the pumpkin with her dad. We did a good job, I think, for an uninitiated bunch. And she got to say "jack-o-lantern" which sounds dementedly sweet coming from her mouth (dzak-o-lenten).
Hopefully next year she will be more independent, and will walk to the neighbours houses, carrying a big bag that she brings back full of candy, because I am sitting here looking for a fix and have nothing in the house to satisfy my sweet tooth with...
Well, we tried to get her into it but she was simply terrified of it...she would not go near it, and if we tried to put it on ourselves she would start crying hysterically. And it was NOT a scary costume, it was just a body and a mane. In the end, I borrowed an elephant costume from someone and tried to get her into it. She did not want to put the hat on, which made the entire costume look weird (like a grey body suit), and most importantly refused to walk in it, which meant that I had to carry her to the neighbours' houses for trick-or-treating.
Did we get much candy? Not really...and I had to give it all away again because despite having bought six kilos of candy bars for that night, we had so many kids come to the door that we were out of sweets in about one hour. We had to open the door and embarrassingly tell kids that we had no more candy. That was quite the moment!
It was a pretty tiring Halloween. Emma did not like the kids coming to the house dressed up in scary costumes, she got a bit freaked out. Not to mention that the whole concept of having to give away candy was not in her list of favourite ways to spend Thursday nights either.
What she did like though was carving the pumpkin with her dad. We did a good job, I think, for an uninitiated bunch. And she got to say "jack-o-lantern" which sounds dementedly sweet coming from her mouth (dzak-o-lenten).
Hopefully next year she will be more independent, and will walk to the neighbours houses, carrying a big bag that she brings back full of candy, because I am sitting here looking for a fix and have nothing in the house to satisfy my sweet tooth with...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)