going forward

I have phoned the new IVF clinic yesteday, and spoke to my old fertility doctor, the one that got me pregnant with Adrian and with Emma.  He said that there was better data to support the synarel/estrogen/progesterone protocol rather than the natural cycle for the frozen embryo transfers.  That is not what the doctor who just did my recent FET said.  She said the data is better for the natural cycles. 

Crazy, I know.  I am trusting my old doctor through hell and high water though, so I decided to move my one remaining embryo in his hands at the new clinic that just opened.  This is somewhat exciting, in particular because he said that the one remaining embryo is "not that bad".  I am also having an antral follicle count and bloodwork to prepare for a pending fresh cycle if the one remaining embryo does not stick.

I am moving forward.  We have decided to have another baby, and honestly, that is what I think will happen.  I am optimistic overall, but just drained to the bone by the process. 

I have gained a total of 6 lb in this frozen cycle, and did not end up taking any drugs.  It is all probably due to stress and emotional eating.  Eating mindlessly.  Not paying attention when I am full because I am thinking of pregnancies.  Whenever I eat this way, I gain weight very quickly.  I am starting to (hopefully) reverse the trend.

I went back to exercising, both running and swimming.  Before this FET, I could run 5 km daily (3miles), now I need to stop somewhere after 3.5 km (2 miles) and take a short break, then go on to complete the 5 km (and then collapse :).  My speed is not as good either, and I cannot fathom running 8 km like I did the day before the transfer.  I am tired and frankly not as motivated, but I am making myself go on as I don't want to lose the fitness that I fought tooth and nail to gain, in between surgeries, IVF treatments, pregnancies, etc.

As far as the swimming, somewhat bad results as well:  I am about 10 -15 sec slower for each 200 m sprint, which in swimming is a fair bit of time.  However, from my previous experience, I tend to improve quite quickly if I swim three times a week or so.  To make things worse, I have developped an otitis externa as well, and am reluctant to go back to the pool until it heals.

In summary, I have a plan, but I am very anxious about everything related to IVF.  As for my fittness, I have lost some, but will likely gain it back quickly if I keep up with the running and the swimming.  At this point in time, I have a feeling that it is the most important thing in keeping me sane.  The exercise, and my beautiful family.