Monday, June 20, 2011

pregnancy and facebook

I figured that it would be just about time to announce the news on facebook.  I was very reluctant at first, since I announced the first pregnancy at some point in the second trimester and then had to write about the loss, and it was not nice, although I did get a lot of supportive comments.  After Adrian, I stopped using facebook pretty much completely, as despite the work on myself it was still very hard to deal with other people's baby pictures and pregnancy announcements.  This is why I was reluctant to post anything.

Similarly, since I could not cope with going to baby showers, I feel a bit reluctant to let my mom throw me a shower in about two weeks.  I don't know why.  I mean it is not the same for the people who were invited to my shower as it was for me when I could not attend.

Certainly when one deals with loss, the isolation is a big problem, as people simply don't understand and make one feel left out of society.  The sense of marginalization worsens the loss to no end.  That is why this online community has been so helpful for me, and I suspect for the others that are part of it as well.  Before the internet, we would have been the only ones in our communities suffering such rare and repeated losses, and perhaps feel singled out.  Now we know that we are not alone.  I don't know why bad things keep on happening to people who already had bad things happen before, but this can drive one crazy were it not for the knowledge that it happens to others too (I mean this about repeated misfortune).

Sorry if this does not make any sense, but my Romanian grandmother came to visit for 6 months and she is talking non stop, hence I am trying to write this in English while she is chatting incessantly in Romanian, my poor brain trying hard to deal with both languages at the same time.  I think she thinks that I am writing an add for a dating service, because she asked me to post her picture on here as well perhaps she might find a suitable elderly gentleman to date :)

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