I am officially on weight watchers. I have been registered with the online program for three months now, but largely ignored the app on my iPhone and did not track my points. My weight kept on going up and up. After gaining five lb in one month, I decided that enough is enough, and started tracking. I am doing fairly well in that I have managed to lose two measly pounds in two weeks, but in all fairness I have been making liberal use of the "weekly"points, and last night I managed to polish off half of a medium pizza at Boston Pizza (Friday nights is our date/splurge night when we go out to Boston Pizza and have something greasy and unhealthy).
My mood has become vastly improved once I have decided to stop feeling guilty about working. I was very conflicted about working longer hours (lately I am averaging 5 a day, with an inclination to increase toward six a day). I doubt that I will go back to full time in the next three years, but if the need arises then I have to be prepared to do so. I enjoy work, and am quite the workoholic. Before having Emma, I used to easily work like a mule, and loving every moment of it, except for the sheer exhaustion and emptiness of my life - haha. Now, I have to be more balanced.
The truth is that in today's day and age, we are all expected to work long hours. We are going back to the work hours of 200 years ago I think. The sooner I accept that, the better our life will be. We are expected to work hard just to make enough money to cover our daily expenses, and in our case, to cover the overhead of the business. Working part time makes it more difficult to do these things. And I am one who likes to have money, no kidding, that is why I need to seriously adjust when my income is slashed in half.
That being said, I am happy with the current balance, and I even think the five to six hour days are ok with Emma, who is very well adapted with her current babysitting family. She is a wonderful child, and her babysitter is friendly and motherly, and I am very happy with the arrangement. That is what matters the most. I think that those of us who have a stable, secure arrangement with a daycare provider, feel more at ease to work longer hours. When Emma had just started with this new babysitter, and she was suffering from my absence, even four hours felt like eternity. I was itching to get home and the five minute commute was an annoyance bigger than I can describe. Now, I am even fantasizing about going to the gym before picking her up. Not that I am actually going to do it... because even for a gym rat like me, seeing my little girl is a much more urgent need than that of pounding the treadmill.