I have been slacking off with the blogging, mainly because there is not much of great importance to write about, but also because I am very busy. I am training to get back into a good physical shape before my next surgery, scheduled for August 9. I am running 3-4 miles every second day, and doing weights. I am 5'9" and weigh 162 lb. I would like to lose another ten pounds this summer, and also I really want to get my shoulders stronger, since the left one is subluxating and creating pain when my muscle tone is weak. I am very flexible, which means my ligaments are unstable, and if the muscle tone drops I start to hurt and am at risk of dislocating my joints, particularly the shoulders. During my pregnancy, I could not train at all, since I was not allowed to exercise, and hence I ended up losing a lot of muscle tone. I need about two more months to build it up. Here where I live, in the North, it is very cold in winter, and it is difficult to exercise intensely, because just getting to the gym when it is dark and cold is difficult. Summer, however, is long, warm and bright, and the perfect time for getting fit. Summer is for gaining, winter is for maintaining.
Anyway, prior to my surgery everybody wants a picture of the inside of my uterus. I suppose it is a great tourist attraction to my four gynes so far (the IVF one, the regular one here, the regular one in Vancouver, and the one that will perform the second transabdominal cerclage). The IVF clinic tried to do a hysteroscopy, but I nearly fainted of pain and they did not succeed in their attempt. Yesterday, the local gyne tried to do a hysterosalpingogram, and could not, despite (too many) many attempts, get the flexible catheter through my cervix. I am a bit worried that I have cervical stenosis. I am mainly worried in the sense that when they transfer the embryos, I hope there is enough room for the catheter to pass through.
Anyway, once again I nearly passed out in pain. I was dizzy, nauseated, sweaty, bradycardic, and in agony. I guess I am going to need sedation for a proper hysteroscopy, and I am hoping that the TAC surgeon-gyne will want to do it at the time of the TAC, as opposed to before, in order to save me an anesthetic.
The worry is that I might have adhesions in the uterus due to both the first TAC traversing the uterine walls, and to the two curettages that I have had to have during my enormous post partum bleed that nearly killed me. Hopefully there are no adhesions, otherwise the whole second TAC is pointless if I cannot get pregnant.
Plan B is to go to India for a surrogate pregnancy if all else fails. It is very expensive and very far, but for the life of me I cannot think of anybody closer to home that would like to loan me a uterus for nine months, so I might end up with a curry-loving baby.
I am quite peaceful about all my options, although a bit worried about how I will pay for the procedures, given how expensive it all is and the fact that I am only working three quarters time. (I guess working full time would be the DUH answer, but I really love spending my mornings with Emma, and cannot envision leaving her in the morning every day just to see her at night. I am so greedy for my time with her!).
Anyway, que sara sara. We shall see.